;;TOP 10;;

[``Jennifer MacKenzie]

The Top Ten Ways You Know You
Are Reading Outlander Way too Often

10: You take a backpack full of supplies with you when you visit
stone circles "just in case"

9: "Plaid" is listed among your "turn-ons"

8: You have a bumper sticker that says "I brake for time-space
anomolies"

7: You have a t-shirt that says "Jamie Rules,
Frank Drools"

6: You wonder if you could get you husband to dye his hair red

5: And cultivate an accent

4: You don't believe Fraserholic could possibly name an addiction and
must instead be some sort of Australian lager

3: You think the phrase "too much Outlander" is not only an oxymoron
but also darn near blasphemous

2: You use the term "temporal displacement" in
casual conversation

1: You actually know by experience what's under
a Scotsman's kilt!

[``Jennifer MacKenzie]

Top 10 Outlander Nightmare Scenarios


10. On the last page of the sixth book, Claire wakes up on
Craigh na Dun and discovers it's all been a dream.

9. The Fraser's Ridge fire is started by Lizzie, now revealed
to be the last child of Geilie Duncan.

8. Fraser's Ridge is besieged by a horde of militant Mohawk,
all demanding parritch in very bad Latin.

7. Frank's ghost starts showing up each time Claire and
Jamie are about to mmphm.

6. We learn from the Brian/Ellen prequel that Jamie isn't
Brian's son at all, but the result of a quick fling Ellen
had with Murtagh... which does rather disrupt the
Fraser Prophecy plotline.

5. In setting up the pentacle for their return journey,
Roger and Brianna get the gemstones in the wrong order, and
wind up in the 1500s. Oddly enough, one of their descendants
is Red Jacob MacKenzie.

4. Willie stays a virgin until the age of 23, when he is seduced
by a mysterious older woman, identified only as the Grizzler.

3. Jamie is excused from participation in the American Revolution
due to a severe case of prostatitis.

2. Little Jemmy MacKenzie, son of Bonnet, shows an early talent
for his father's career path - by bumping off little Jemmy
MacKenzie, son of William Buccleigh and Morag. Roger promptly
vanishes in a puff of time-travel paradox.

1. Mrs. Abernathy shoots Jamie properly, chops off Claire's head,
then travels to the 1980s and prevents Diana Gabaldon from
even starting the Books.