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Post by aithne erinn endellion on Aug 1, 2009 21:23:09 GMT -8
where are the people that accused me? the ones who beat me down and bruised me. they hide just out of sight; can’t face me in the light. they’ll return but i’ll be stronger.
Aithne had guessed that the whole “just talking to him” thing didn’t work, yet he seemed more frazzled than she expected. She brought her palm up to her face and covered her mouth as if she were avoiding saying anything else that would be either stupid or make him uncomfortable. But, she just had the urge to ask him a bunch of questions like how he and Ceara met, how long had they known each other, but the biggest question was if he actually felt the same way.
For some reason she was embarrassed, probably from her own stupidity. ”You should really just shut your stupid mind down, Aithne,” she thought. She bit her finger a bit, since it was already at her mouth, as she wondered what to do. ”No, no, no Aithne! Don’t say anything unless spoken to.” Was her mind right? Would it be best to stay quiet? She let her hand fall back down to her side.
Aithne heard his question as she was silently trailing behind him, still out of the way from the horse. She tried to search for the most logical thing to tell him, even if he was just speaking to himself. Though, she wondered what she would pay for opening her mouth again. Taking in a breath, she spoke: ”… whatever you do, don’t listen to your heart… it will only blur what is really there; it will deceive you.”
She stared at the back of his head, crossing her arms over her chest once again. god, i want to dream again; take me where i’ve never been. i want to go there; this time i’m not scared. now i am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable. no one can touch me, nothing can stop me.
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Post by Emlyn Zynooth on Aug 3, 2009 7:25:58 GMT -8
Don't listen to his heart? But how did he know what came from his heart? Was it that thoughts came from his head and feelings came from his heart? No...that couldn't be right, because weren't thoughts based on feelings? That would mean that everything came from his heart, unless his heart could have thoughts of its own...could it? Of course, for any of this to work he actually had to think about it, which he was avoiding desperately. He wondered if he could just ignore this all for the rest of his life, but he had a feeling Ceara wouldn't let that happen.
He could see the path up ahead, was that good or bad? Did he want to keep talking to Aithne, or would he be glad to be rid of an extra voice giving him input? Speaking oh which, what had he felt about anything that had happened that past few days? Did he even have a basic idea? Confused, that word worked. Perhaps on a regular basis he should just stop and decide on an emotion, for practice, and eventually when he became good at it he could figure out what he felt, but right now he was seriously lacking in experience.
"There's the path, Aithne...do you, need me to...walk you any, um, more?" No matter what, he would hope to see Aithne again...but maybe while having a different conversation, and maybe after having figured this all out. That was a good plan. Well, except for the fact that he still had to figure it out. He wouldn't mind putting that off...for...the rest of his life, and then he could die as a hermit. And then, a stray thought hit him, and he didn't know where it had come from.
Life was easier alone, but was it filled with more joy?
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Post by aithne erinn endellion on Aug 3, 2009 10:34:12 GMT -8
where are the people that accused me? the ones who beat me down and bruised me. they hide just out of sight; can’t face me in the light. they’ll return but i’ll be stronger. [/size][/center] The more Aithne thought about her statement, the more she found it unnecessary for her to spring all of these statements on people. They probably meant nothing to them, because whatever she said seemed to be about her past trials and fails. But, what she said was true to her. Too many times she had thought she was in love, but it was all a big lie; the direct source was from her heart. Was her heart hardened now? She probably shouldn’t care about love anymore.
Upon seeing that path, the tension that filled her body was released. Her grip that her arms had over her chest released, and a gentle smile danced across her face. There's the path, Aithne...do you, need me to...walk you any, um, more? Aithne thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that she no longer needed an escort, but… you never knew what would happen up on the mountain. Her brown-grey eyes looked up the path and a little farther up to see the mountain’s peak, or at least some of it.
Her eyes looked back at him once they reached the path, and her feet stopped moving. Her eyes moved to the side a little and it appeared that she was thinking. Aithne placed slender finger on her chin before she spoke, ”Do you want to come with me? I have no problem with another person assisting me,” she said in her airy voice. Aithne straightened up her posture, pulled the shawl back over, and adjusted her basket. She highly doubted that any man would want to go a look for plants, but it was only fair to ask. god, i want to dream again; take me where i’ve never been. i want to go there; this time i’m not scared. now i am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable. no one can touch me, nothing can stop me. [/size]
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Post by Emlyn Zynooth on Aug 3, 2009 11:37:48 GMT -8
Did he want to stay with Aithne? Did he have anything else to ask, or get confused about? Well, his stomach sure was complaining about something, but he guessed it wasn't something that Aithne could fix. He needed to find Ceara, or get as far away from her as humanly possible, but he needed to decide something and quick, or he was sure something was going to explode. He couldn't trust himself around anything or anyone...he should completely isolate himself while he tried to figure out what to do, including Treasure and Talisman.
"No, I'm sorry, Aithne...I'm going to do something stupid and very soon." He needed to be alone, even more alone than he had ever been before. He couldn't be sure what the "stupid" thing would be, but he knew whatever it was, he would regret it. And anyway, he knew that if he stayed with Aithne he would only talk about his problems. He would not make good company and he knew it, and he couldn't expect Aithne to just listen to him as he continued making no sense. It wasn't fair to her, she didn't need to be involved in any of this. It was his problem.
"But...before I go...would you tell me...should I run or face it?" That was the most important question he had been asking himself. Running away seemed very un-solider-like, but then again, he had run away from becoming an actual soldier. He had already admitted that people were one of his weaknesses, and he didn't think that was going to change anytime soon. He was sure he would just make a fool of himself, or do something incredibly idiotic. It had happened before, and he had run away before. He had never truly faced his real father.
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Post by aithne erinn endellion on Aug 3, 2009 12:10:42 GMT -8
where are the people that accused me? the ones who beat me down and bruised me. they hide just out of sight; can’t face me in the light. they’ll return but i’ll be stronger. [/size][/center] Aithne nodded to him. But, she couldn’t help but wonder what “stupid” thing he would do. Smash things? If she had any negative emotions inside her, she would probably smash things too. But, only things that were weaker than her, like… small sticks and dirt clods.
It probably would have been reassuring to have someone there, but she figured that as long as she followed the path and STUCK to it, she would be fine. From the looks of it, she could tell the path stretched very far. Probably far enough for her to find a Witch Hazel; ooh the excitement!
”I understand,” she said, but she couldn’t be completely sincere. Because there might have been a difference in how they both handled their negative emotions, considering how he was twice her size. Aithne played with a few of the plants that were in her basket. But...before I go...would you tell me...should I run or face it?" She stared down at the different plants in her basket, wondering what to say. No matter what she said, he’d do what he thought was right. But, instead of wasting her breath to refuse to answer, and to avoid a possible argument, Aithne looked up at him. ”… well… running is what is easy, but confronting something takes more strength,” she paused, trying to put together her thoughts, ”… would you rather do what is easy, or face it like a man?”
She turned, though she didn’t begin to walk. Was there anything else she wanted to say? Because this might have been the last time she would ever see him. Aithne wasn’t sure when she would go back to Skye, she may just stay longer if she so wished. ”It was nice seeing you again, Emlyn.” That was when she began to walk; her feet made a delicate sound as she hit the ground of the path. ”There is no right choice, because they both may want different things…”
god, i want to dream again; take me where i’ve never been. i want to go there; this time i’m not scared. now i am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable. no one can touch me, nothing can stop me. [/size]
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