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Post by Ceara Mindelan on Nov 29, 2009 19:43:31 GMT -8
Ceara noticed how he smiled, and at first she couldn't believe it. She'd made him smile? When she was so sure that her perseverance was just going to annoy him? She felt her own smile brighten. She liked it when he smiled, whether it was because he didn't do it very often or just because she generally just liked seeing him happy, she wasn't sure. Either way, she loved how he looked so different when he smiled, less stoic and serious and, well, pessimistic, as she'd said. Next she noticed how he reached out warily, almost as though she was some wild animal that he was reaching out to. Still, it made her so happy to see him reaching out to her, and she instantly responded, shifting so that she was a bit closer to him. She prepared to sit up, to face him...but then he pulled his hand away, clenching his fist as if to keep himself from reaching out any longer, and she had to force herself to keep the disappointment off her face.
She noticed how he bowed his head in shame, and slowly sat up, her bright grin turning into a somber expression. "What is it, Emlyn?" She asked quietly, waiting, hoping that she would be able to burst into a fit of laughter after hearing that what he was capable was something silly that wouldn't lower her opinion of him at all. However, as he suddenly said that he was capable of killing children, she pulled a complete blank. She was silent for a few moments, just staring at him with no expression on her face at all, until she finally snapped out of it, giving her head a quick shake. "Sorry, what?" She asked, as though she hadn't heard what he'd said. "Maybe you should...explain this to me. What happened?" She asked, leaning forward intently._________________________________________ Words: 330 Mood: Good <) Notes: Bravo, Yules. *Claps* Seriously, I applaud you, that was awesome xD [/size]
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Post by Emlyn Zynooth on Nov 30, 2009 14:59:55 GMT -8
He turned his face away, too ashamed to let her look into his eyes. The air was cold and clear, so instead of looking down, into his fear, he looked up at the sky. The clouds were thick and rolling, but the sun was behind them, making them shine golden and beautiful. Perhaps just a moment before, Ceara had been flying up there, hopes shining the same golden. He too had dared to think his dreams could reach that high, but the truth of his words brought in dark stormclouds, even if they didn't exist, they were clearly there for both of them to see.
Where could he start? How could he explain? He wasn't defensive about it, for he hadn't had any excuses. He couldn't right that wrong with any deeds, but it still ate him at his core. The only thing that helped him was the fact he regretted it. That counted for something, right? But how much could it account for when, at the time, he hadn't questioned anything? The spear had been thrown, and he had grabbed onto it, a prisoner to the will of those who couldn't care less.
It had been a crisp day like this. He knew it had been because the memory was so clean and so clear. He could remember every smell, and every sound like they were the tinkling of windchimes right by his ear. He'd been with his training troup, a bunch of boys he should've known better than anyone, but he had never had the urge to ask the questions. It was easier to remain silent. They had been laughing, joking some joke as most boys do before they acquire the responsibilities of a man, even though they were trained as men. They had been seeing the fort, and were being shown around so they would know what to do when they became soldiers, if they became soldiers. Emlyn remembered the cries outside. He remembered his "captain's" petrified look, though that boy was only a few months older than him, chosen to be captain in a simulation. The only real soldier had been an old gruff man who simply said to do what soldiers would do.
"We...we were visiting real soldiers. But...there didn't seem to be any around. We went outside...there was...a little riot. Some pesants were complaining about God knows what. A boy...he was supposedly our captain, but he hadn't had any experience...he told us to kill them all. I was just worried about my training. I thought if I didn't do it...I'd fail. I did it...I killed...every person that came my way. I never looked any of them in the eye."
He remembered the smell of blood, and that blood was s till on his hands.
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Post by Ceara Mindelan on Dec 3, 2009 17:30:11 GMT -8
Ceara stayed silent and just watched Emlyn, waiting patiently for him to find the words to tell her. She couldn't help but imagine what he possibly could have done to make him feel this guilty, for it was very obvious that he was feeling regretful. She guessed that it had something to do with killing a child, but she wondered what the scenario had been to make him do such a thing. However, she was not about to start judging him before he explained everything. She searched his face as he lifted his face to the sky, marveling at how perfect he seemed. She knew that not all women would agree with her...some would probably think that his strange blue hair was unattractive, and she had no doubt that some women would be unnerved by his silences, but Ceara was fine with it. He seemed...slightly more relaxed around her than when they had first met, and it made her excited at the thought of how he would be in another few weeks, whether he would turn into a sort of chatterbox around her. She actually liked the thought, but she wouldn't pressure him.
She stayed silent as he explained, watching him intently. She stayed silent for a few moments after he finished, and then shook her head. "That's not your fault." She said, and then help up her hands, to ward off any protests or whatever, considering he had any. "If you were the captain, and had made the order yourself, then I would blame you. But you were just following orders. That doesn't mean it wasn't wrong of you to kill them all, but I doubt the captain would have taken too kindly to you questioning him, if you had." She said, implying that she thought that arguing with the captain only would have put Emlyn himself in danger. She smiled at him, reaching out and putting her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "I would be far more alarmed if it weren't obvious that you feel horribly guilty about it." She said, giving his shoulder a little rub._________________________________________ Words: 366 Mood: Okay Notes: Nada [/size]
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Post by Emlyn Zynooth on Dec 6, 2009 14:00:46 GMT -8
She was so...forgiving, he couldn't believe it. Someone like her, he expected she would instantly turn away from someone as evil as him, but no...she was still just trying to help him. How did someone like her exist? He would never, ever be able to do something like that. But at the same time, he felt so good hearing her say it wasn't his fault, like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He would never forget it and he would never not regret it, but perhaps now he wouldn't let it govern his life.
"I'm...not evil," he whispered, not really sure who he was talking to, whether it was himself, to Ceara, or just out loud to make it seem more true. He looked up at her with big, glassy eyes for one moment before putting his hand on her hand that was on his shoulder so he could slip it off and lean forward to bury his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her and wrapping his arms around her, not wanting to let her escape from him, this perfect, perfect creature.
He wouldn't mind staying like that for a very long time, even though he was still dead nervous about being on a bridge, and nervous that she would change her mind and pull away. If she could understand that, she could understand anything and he just couldn't let someone like her go. Maybe...instead of trying to keep himself from her, he'd spend every moment proving that he needed her. He didn't have anyone else in the world, not even a distant friend he could write a letter to, only her...now his reason to exist.
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Post by Ceara Mindelan on Dec 6, 2009 15:42:44 GMT -8
Ceara wasn't sure whether Emlyn would believe her and accept what she said when she said that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault, she didn't blame him at all, but she expected him to keep arguing, maybe insist that it was his fault. That was what she would have done, probably. But she and Emlyn were two different people. There was him, the sweet, amazing guy that was a little antisocial, sure, but still. Then there was her...the quick-to-anger, out of the ordinary girl. At that moment she began to wonder whether she was even good enough for him, whether he would ever be able to think of her as more than a friend. She began to doubt it...but like she'd said to him before, she wouldn't give up. She was nothing if not persistent. So she wouldn't just give up on the hope of him ever liking her the way she liked him...no, she would continue following him around, whether he wanted her to or not.
"No, of course you're not evil. You're not at all evil." She said gently, wondering how long it had been since he had thought that he was evil. What a horrible thing for him to think of himself. He was amazing, as far as she was concerned there was nothing evil about him. Still, she knew what it was like to be tormented by personal demons. She was surprised when he put his hand on hers, thinking that he was going to push her away when he slipped his hand off of her shoulder. But instead, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and had wrapped his arms around her. She blinked in total surprise while at the same time, as a reflex, she wrapped her own arms around him, leaning her cheek on his head and holding him tightly, trying to comfort him. She said nothing as they held each other, just hoping this moment wouldn't end anytime soon but knowing that they would have to get off the bridge eventually.
Finally, after a few minutes of silence, she decided to speak up. "Are you feeling better? Ready to get off this bridge?" She asked. It was hard to believe that just a little while ago Emlyn had been close to falling to his death._________________________________________ Words: 410 Mood: Not bad Notes: Emlyn is amazing <3333 [/size]
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