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Post by Yuliya Dukhkin' on Oct 10, 2009 11:58:16 GMT -8
Yuliya set another log onto the fire that she had spent the afternoon building. The dusk was fading into a sunset as her tired grinding finally ignited a flame on the driftwood. She sat down on the side, lying back against a bench of driftwood. Behind her was a small, partially underground hut that she had also made out of driftwood. There was an abundance of the wood littered all over the beach. She dug her bare toes into the sand that had been warmed by the day's sun. Daylight was fading, and the evening was falling in like a dark grey cloak over the sky.
As she gazed over the sands, she wondered if she could ever truly call this place home. Her loyalty belonged nowhere except to the Cossacks. The land, the water, the air...even the fire of the Cossacks was different. A pang hit her sharply. She had no idea what was going on back there, there could even be a war, and she wouldn't know. But she knew, she knew that they could burn the land and boil the sea, but they couldn't take the sky. The Cossack air would always be there, waiting...
No, it wouldn't be waiting for her, not anymore, she couldn't return. She had to make this her home, but how this be home when it felt so wrong? How could she make herself comfortable in a place where it felt like thorns were stabbing her all the time? Home was a powerful word to her, and it couldn't change just like that. Home was a feeling that you belonged somewhere, and she could never belong here.
The fire crackled, but it was dull. Back home, fires were accompanied with singing and dancing. They used to say that you couldn't have a fire without a song. The fire fed the song, and the song let the fire know what it was. The song danced between the flames. Therefore, even it's warm glow felt cold. She thought of a melody, a melody that could fit the evening.
"When the evening falls
And the daylight is fading
From within me calls
Could it be I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray
Then it holds me completely
Close to home-I cannot say
Close to home, feeling so far away
As I walk the room there before me a shadow
From another world where no other can follow
Carry me to my own, to where I can cross over
Close to home-I cannot say
Close to home, feeling so far away
Forever searching, never right
I am lost in oceans of night
Forever hoping I can find memories
Those memories I left behind
Even though I leave, will I go on believing?
That this time is real, am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through, never knowing the reason
I am home-I know the way
I am home, feeling so far away."
She was home, because she could never go back. Even as she thought those words, an emptyness swelled up through her. I can never go home... Yes, she couldn't go home, because this WAS home.
She put one hand around Apollo and the other around Luna, and held on tight. They weren't the land, but the were at least part of what home meant. She tried not to think about it, but she couldn't help remembering that they were the only part of home that she would ever see again.
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