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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 24, 2009 14:45:02 GMT -8
Violet let out a small, but drawn out huff as she looked down at the grass. If he didn't want to know how to read then why did he bring up the subject? It was obvious she would know how to read, so that couldn't be the reason why he asked. Well, she wasn't going to ask why he didn't want to learn because he would probably make up some odd reason. "Fine, that's your decision." She finally said, her eyes still locked on the grass next to her.
When he repeated the number she had told him, she never once looked up. She just listened to him. She wondered about how far he could count past that, or if he knew any numbers past three at all. She didn't know if she should ask the question though. She really didn't feel like asking him a question. Actually, she didn't feel like talking to him at all, but hey, such is life, because obviously both of them weren't just going to sit there all day silently and neither of them were leaving soon, as it appeared.
Violet glared lightly at him when he spoke again, trying not to show full anger. Really? Why would he be that way? Oh right, he was an arrogant asshole. Can't forget that. "You know, I'm trying really hard not to lose my cool again, so if you would be so kind to be calm yourself, we might not have anymore problems today." She said through her teeth. "Unless, of course, you want another slap across the face."
She let out a deep breath and then looked away again. She hated looking at him. The sight of him and his attitude pissed her off to no end. She listened to him speak of the forsythia once more as she calmed herself down. When he finished, she thought about what he said and picked one of the weeds he talked of. She studied the flower she held in her hand and smiled slightly. "Maybe it means anticipation because it hopes or expects that maybe someday it will be noticed more as a flower than a weed." She looked up from the flower to Amri. "That's what anticipation means, expectation or hope. At least that's a basic meaning of it."
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 24, 2009 16:51:31 GMT -8
"Anticipation itself is stupid," he muttered, bringing his feet closer to himself, eyes unfocused, "It's not like what you anticipate will ever happen." Amri had never really anticipated anything...except one thing, and perhaps that was why he harbored such bitterness against that emotion, but now there was nothing to look forward to except another day of getting stronger, but nothing ever changed. He was never truly challenged, and alcohol didn't taste any different. But he didn't see every day as something to look forward to, only a chance to make himself a little bit better than the day before.
It as annoying as hell that she was trying to be all philosophical around him. He hated philosophers. They were just lonely old men with nothing else better to do. It would be like learning to fight from someone who'd never been in a real fight to the death, or learning to love from someone who'd been alone all their life. All they had were fancy theories mixed in with fancy words...never real life experience. Well, he didn't trust anything but what he saw before his eyes clearly and plainly, not poetical bullshit.
He let out a loud sigh and lay so that he was lying on his back, looking up at the sky. There was a cloud. He closed his eyes tightly shut, but it wouldn't stop it from being there, so he opened them again, and without even realizing he was doing it, he spoke, "That cloud...looks like a cloud." But he kept his expression blank, and didn't let it get to him. It had no significance at all. And maybe it was just the thing to let him calm down, and stop going on about forsythia, damned flower.
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 24, 2009 17:24:45 GMT -8
Violet tossed the flower to the side, too annoyed to care about liking the flower. He must have a lot of fun ruining peoples moods because he sure ruined her mood a lot. "That's not always true Amri." She said almost like she was assuring herself it wasn't true more than she was telling him it wasn't. There was one thing she would not let him ruin and that was her dreams, whatever those may be. She had never really thought about her dreams.
She looked up to watch him lay back, thinking that she would like to do that, but she wasn't going to just be all laid back while he was there. She had no trust in him whatsoever and she wasn't about to start. So, instead of laying back like she wanted to, she sat there watching him be comfortable. But, soon enough, she let her eyes wander up to the clouds he was looking at.
Violet choked slightly after he spoke, and began to giggle. She didn't know why she was laughing at what he had said, she just was. It was weird. Like, all anger was pulled out of her. She assumed that what made her laugh, was the stupidness of his words, but she didn't know. Truthfully, what he said sounded like something she might say if she was joking around with her family.
She stretched out her legs in front of her and leaned back so that she was propped up on the palms of her hands. She had ceased her laughing, but she was still smiling as she continued to look at the sky. Her face became serious as she began to think about him more. Questions were popping up in her mind that she suddenly wanted to ask him. She glanced over to him debating on whether to ask or not. She decided she would ask one question and if all went wrong she would ask no more.
"Amri, if you could change anything about your past, would you? And what would it be?" To him she probably sounded like she was prying, but she really wanted to know. Now, she didn't know why she wanted to know, because she thought that she would never care about things like that, but as the silence grew, she grew curious.
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 24, 2009 18:07:57 GMT -8
He didn't believe her when he said that wasn't always true. It had never happened to him, and that was all he knew. He supposed that he had succeeded in becoming at least one of the strongest men in the world, but he hadn't anticipated that, he had known that would happen, because he simply wouldn't have allowed himself to fail. There was a difference. Hopes, wishes, dreams...were meaningless with no will behind them. Having an intention of doing something was not enough, you had to live it and carry it closer to your chest than your heart.
He jumped slightly when he heard her laugh, and not sarcastically either. He definitely had no intention of doing that, and it simply surprised him that he even had that ability. He didn't make people laugh, at least, not with little innocent things like that, more killing jokes that were only appreciated by other warriors like him. He wasn't sure if he should feel pleasant or disgusted or embarrassed or all three. But what he did feel was...strangely exposed, like the act of making her laugh had opened up his thoughts to the world.
However, he popped up at her question, eyes wide, to then slowly lean back on his elbows as the initial shock calmed...maybe she had been reading his thoughts, but those thoughts were his and his only. Still, he found himself answering truthfully. "Of course I would change something," he said, bitterness edging his words, though, for once, not directed at her, and then he said, much more quietly, "I would have stayed." He closed his eyes and a flashing smile came into his vision. Disturbed, he shook it out and opened his eyes to instead see Violet's face.
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 25, 2009 15:21:11 GMT -8
Violet didn't expect the reaction she got from him when she laughed. When did she ever make him jump? Did she scare him? She never really pictured herself scaring Amri at all, and just seeing his reaction was funny, though she didn't laugh. She wanted to, but she kept it to herself. She was still a bit, shocked at the fact that he made her laugh. That was something she had never expected either. Strangely, it felt nice though. She was glad that, for once, he wasn't making her angry.
When he popped up quickly with his eyes wide, she scooted back an inch or two quickly in shock. She didn't understand why her question made him pop up like he did, but she relaxed slightly when he leaned back more calmly. Something about the question must have surprised him. What made her happy was the fact he wasn't mad at her for asking. She expected much worse from him and for the first time, he threw her the unexpected.
"Oh." She said in a whisper to his answer to her questions. She pulled her knees to her chest once more to rest her chin on them. She looked at him with content, yet her face was still soft. Whatever she made him think about, it must have been a touchy subject. She could tell by the bitterness in his voice. "May I ask what you mean by, you would've stayed? What happened?" She once again, did not want to seem like she was prying, but she was curious. Maybe, what he had locked inside, the touchy subject, was another reason why he was the way he is.
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 26, 2009 8:59:42 GMT -8
He took in a slow but deep breath as he turned to stare off into the distance, trying to keep his expression blank as if it were really nothing, but he knew that his eyes would look troubled at the least, as he was trying to shove back the memories that were threatening to reemerge to the surface of his mind, where they would hurt. All these years, the simple way to prevent it from getting to him was to not think about it at all. In fact, not once, even after it had happened, had he spared even a moment to relive it.
But if he didn't answer, she would probably think it was something worse than it was. Then again, what could possibly be worse? A shudder rang through his stomach as he tried to forget the way she screamed at him, to get out and as far away as possible. He didn't even know where she had been buried. So many years had passed since then, and he wondered if her mother was even alive, or if she had died from sorrow. That wouldn't have been too surprising. Maybe if he had actually spent his time thinking about it he would have too.
"I would have...stopped something from happening if I had stayed. I know I could've." He rolled over onto his stomach and in the same motion hit the ground with a balled fist, closing his eyes and lowering his face closer to the ground so that his bangs just touching it, until he let go and just let his forehead collide. She was probably thinking he was crazy now, but he didn't want her to see his face. He didn't want her to see that his eyes were glassy.
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 26, 2009 13:40:49 GMT -8
Violet's eyes stayed locked on him. She knew he was troubled just by the way he was starting to act and the look in his eyes. She looked down at the grass in front of her. She started to feel bad for him. What she had asked was proven to be a touchy subject now. Though, it didn't make him mad. It was most likely a part of his memory that made him sad. Was that even possible? She had never seen him upset in that way, except for the night he was drunk.
As he spoke, she looked back up to him. When he turned over on his stomach and banged his fist, she knew something was wrong. Then, he let his head hit the ground. What could he have possibly stopped? She wanted to know more, but truthfully, she wanted to make sure he was okay. She had never seen him this way, and it was.... different. There must be something she could do, but in order to help him, she would have to be nice to him. He didn't deserve what kindness she had, but maybe, for once she could just be nice without reason. There was something inside of her that didn't like to see him the way he was.
Violet took a deep breath and then slowly maneuvered in order to place herself on her hands and knees. She slowly crawled over to his side and lowered herself to his level. "Amri, what happened?" She asked in a soft tone, trying to be as soothing as she could be. "You can tell me... if you want." She had never done something like this before, so she hoped she was doing it right.
She was prepared for anything he threw at her, whether it be yelling, crying, or maybe just a horrible story that happened in his past. Whatever it was, it was worse than what he had told her about his past, because he didn't seem to care too much about his past. At least, not the part of his past he had mentioned to her.
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 26, 2009 16:22:07 GMT -8
He wanted to forget it all and pretend it never happened, but for some reason, her voice was making it all come back. Why was that? It didn't make any sense. They were nothing alike, so it wasn't like he was being reminded of her, or was he? No, maybe she had been singing, but it wasn't the same at all. She had been softer...everything about her had been softer, wasn't that right? So soft that she had been so easy to break, to smash, to crush...just like a delicate little flower, a weed that no one cared about...except him.
He started shaking, like he often did when he was trying to hold in bursts of emotion, though he didn't know exactly what would happen if he let it out. God, he would probably rip out the hill itself, or maybe he would just attack Violet...no, he knew he wouldn't do that, but it'd be something similar, but he wouldn't find out. He'd have to hold himself in these violent shakes that pulsed throughout his body, power and energy that was longing to be put to bad use.
He smashed his face farther into the ground, which was warm from the rare sunlight, but a kind of gritty warmth that was not at all comforting, not the kind of warmth that he wanted, or that he would ever get. "Do you know what lilacs mean?" he asked, hint of wariness echoing through his voice. He half wanted her to know so it would be easier to explain, and half wanted her to not know so he'd have an excuse not to. He didn't even know why he was bothering, if all it would do was bring it up to the surface, but it was like she was telling him to remember her...
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 26, 2009 17:26:17 GMT -8
As his body began to shake, Violet grew scared of what might happen. Was it her fault he was now shaking? Was he shaking because he was angry or upset? Though scared, she stayed where she layed and watched him with worried eyes. For once she wasn't just worried about herself, but for him too. Maybe he would calm down soon, and everything would be back to normal.
She winced slightly at the sight of him crashing his face into the ground. That was deffinitely not healthy and it hurt her just to see it. She could tell he was fine when he spoke once again. His question was another one of the few that puzzled her. She didn't understand where they were coming from, or why he would ask them. She wanted to better understand them, but he wasn't telling her.
"Yes." She said crossing her arms and laying her head down on them. "But it depends on the lilacs color what it means." She stopped to study him more. She wondered if this was some type of joke, but she wasn't exactly sure that it was. Usually people don't joke about things like this and he wasn't the type to joke. "I know that purple lilacs symbolize the first emotions of love and white ones represent youthful innocence." She continued, giving him the meanings so he wouldn't have to ask her what they were if he didn't believe that she knew.
Violet turned her head so that she was looking straight ahead. "Why did you ask that question?" Truthfully, she didn't mind answering it. Lilacs were one of the many flowers she knew about. She liked flowers, so she studied them a bit. She doesn't know every single flower though, just the more common ones, and the ones she likes the most.
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 26, 2009 17:53:07 GMT -8
It was uncomfortable...having her so close while thinking of the other her. No, he had to stop thinking about it, or...but it was so easy to imagine her sitting there, just looking at him with amusement on her face. Maybe she would have asked him why he was sticking his face in the ground, and if he was looking for grubs, like coyotes. And then he would have shot his head up and said no he was not! And then she would have laughed because he would have had dirt on his nose. There was no point in that. He would just look up and see Violet instead and be disappointed...or would he?
He took in another slow, deep breath to calm his shaking, and then slowly rose into a sitting position, bringing both his knees and his face to his chest while reaching up with his hands to grab his bangs and pull them ever so slightly. But then he let one go to rub the top of his head, trying to massage away the aching that had grown there as he tried to desperately to hold himself and his memories in, or else they would destroy him. He darted his eyes up once to see Violet looking at him and then brought his head down lower so she wouldn't be able to see his face.
"I had a lilac," he said, rocking himself just a tad, "I left it so it'd have time to blossom...but when I came back, someone had ripped it apart." It was the first time he had ever said aloud that she was dead, and it just...made it more real, like now it couldn't be undone and it wasn't just a nightmare he was going to wake up from. Pins were stabbing at his eyes and it felt like his whole body as just going to collapse without warning. Oh, why did someone have to see this?
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 27, 2009 6:37:38 GMT -8
Violet slowly let herself raise onto her knees as he sat up. She watched him bring his knees to his chest and pull on his bangs, before she looked back out across the field. It made her upset to see him like that, but she was happy he was done shaking. She had always hated shaking, herself. He probably didn't like shaking all that much either and she wished there was something she could do to calm him more, even though he was done.
She reached up a hand to tug on one of her blonde curls as she sat there thinking, and waiting for a response. She was pretty much sure now, that she shouldn't have asked about his past. Sometimes she didn't think before she acted or spoke. She just, didn't expect him to be so, upset about his past. What he had mentioned to her before was pretty bad, and he didn't even seem to care, so this must be really bad to have him shaken up about it.
Violet's hand immediately dropped to her side and her eyes shot in his direction after he told her what happened. She caught on quick to what he was talking about. No, he wasn't talking about some lilac that grows from the ground. He had been in love and she was taken from him. Her eyes were filled with much sympathy, and every bit of it was for him. She wanted to reach out, to let him know she was there for him, but she feared how he might react.
It took her a few minutes before she could actually open her mouth to speak to him. Her eyes dropped to the ground, and she sat back so that she was now on her behind, instead of her knees. "Amri," She whispered, her voice not being able to carry anymore than that. "I'm so sorry. Not only.... for what happened, but for bringing it up."
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 27, 2009 8:05:31 GMT -8
He tried to take in another deep breath, but it just turned shaky as he put his hands on the ground to scootch himself until he was right by Violet. For a moment, he just sat there beside her, but then he reached out and grabbed her arm, holding it against his face as he crouched up around it. She didn't feel warm, more pleasantly cool. But maybe that was what he wanted right now, maybe he had guessed she would feel that way, and so that was why he had sought for it. Either way, it was comforting.
"It doesn't make sense..." he muttered, pressing his forehead closer against her shoulder, "She was just a florist's daughter..." This was why he could never believe in a god, because no god in his right mind would let a girl like her be killed and yet let someone like him stay alive, unless staying alive was his punishment...no, that was bullshit. The world had no plans for anything, except to prove to him that he was a curse. Maybe that was all life was, the overlapping of ironic coincidences. Or perhaps he just had the worst luck in the world.
But whatever it was, it didn't matter. None of this mattered because none of it was making him stronger. He wasn't going to curl up against a girl like a little boy who needed to be cuddled, so he roughly shoved himself away as he stood up and turned, grabbing Banryuu off the ground and sticking the end of it in the earth so he could lean against the crescent moon at the end of the handle. "She was weak, so it was probably...going...to happen." He had tried to say that void of emotion, like he didn't care, but it hadn't worked, and it just made him need to close his eyes again to hold everything back.
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Post by Demyth Chalfon on Sept 27, 2009 9:15:17 GMT -8
Demyth frowned down at the ground as he walked, annoyed that he was so bored at the moment. He could usually find something relatively interesting to do, but at the moment nothing would come to mind, and it's not like there was much around him. He wondered why he'd decided to walk so far from that small city he'd seen back there, at least there he wouldn't have been bored. Heck, he could have killed someone...or gotten something to eat, or found some pretty wench to have fun with...but no, instead he'd decided to go wander away from the city and see what fun things to do he could come up with while away from the city. Well, you see, the answer to that was NOTHING. He was so bored. There was next to nothing around him, and there wasn't even all that many trees that he could suddenly decide to climb, as that usually kept him pretty entertained.
But no. There was nothing at all to do, and it was thoroughly pissing him off. Of course, this didn't show, as he looked rather cheerful, walking with his arms folded up behind his head and his head leaning back slightly to look at the sky, cheerful grin still in place. He looked around then, and in the distance he spotted two figures, one light haired and sitting on the ground while the other was dark haired and was standing. Sunlight glinted off something and he squinted, a moment later recognizing Amri's sword, Banryuu. Finally, he'd found something interesting. Amri was speaking with some wench...he wondered what they were talking about. He considered trying to sneak up closer, but he didn't have enough patience for that. In many ways, Demyth was like a large, evil little kid with not all that much patience and always looking for something fun to do. At least Amri might keep him entertained.
"Yo, Amri!" He shouted, quickening his pace slightly as he walked towards him and the wench, looking the woman up and down. He wondered whether now was a bad time, whether Amri had been just about to rape her or something like that. Amri had never really seemed like the sort of guy to do that, but still. Heck, maybe he'd share her. "...What are you doing, man?" He asked in confusion as he drew closer and realized that Amri did not look very hostile at the moment, or at least not like he was about to attack, and the wench did not look very afraid. He frowned at Amri, wondering whether he really had just been talking with the woman, and if so, what about._________________________________________ Words: 466 Mood: Not too bad Notes: There you go, best I could come up with for now. [/size]
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Post by Violet Alexander on Sept 27, 2009 9:53:40 GMT -8
Violet allowed him to take her arm and place it around him. She wasn't going to say no, because if he needed her, then she wouldn't mind. After all, she had gotten him into this mood in the first place. So, she just let her arm hang around him, but she tightened her grip slightly, for comfort. She didn't know if she was the right one for comfort, but he didn't seem to mind it as he stayed there.
She didn't say anything to him, as he told her that it had made no sense. Her being Christian, she believed that everything happened for a reason and that maybe it was her time to go. God was calling her home. Being the way Amri was, he probably didn't believe in anything close to that. Though she believed what she did, she didn't agree that it was fair that that had happened to him.
Soon enough she felt him shove off of her, making her body lean in the opposite direction and her arm that was around him fall to the ground. Her eyes were widened slightly from shock. She had not expected that. Knowing Amri pretty well now, should've told her that he wouldn't stay there long though. He wasn't one to get all sappy when upset. He usually killed someone.
She straightened back up and watched him as he propped his sword up and leaned against it. The words that came out of his mouth made her grow angry with him. He didn't mean that. He was just saying it because he was hurting. "That's not true Amri. You loved her, and she was taken from you. You're angry and hurt. I understand that." She looked away from him to the town. "You shouldn't say things like that, just because you're upset. You don't mean it."
Violet heard a voice ring out after she had finished talking. It wasn't Amri's and it wasn't someone she knew. She turned her head to see another man coming up the hill towards them. Apparently he knew Amri. She stood up slowly and crossed her arms to look at him. Her face was now hard as she looked him up and down. She didn't trust him at all, even though she didn't know him. Instead of looking to Amri for answers, her eyes stayed locked on the man.
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Post by Amri Amatzya on Sept 27, 2009 10:31:09 GMT -8
"What would you know?" he asked bitterly, leaning against the back of his hand, "Do you know what it's like? To go back, expecting to...to...and instead, facing a sobbing mother who attacks you, because it's because of you that her only child was killed? To not even be allowed to go to the funeral? To start drinking when you're thirteen?" He remembered meeting her mother for the first time, and he had learned what a real mother was like. She had asked him to do chores around the house, and in return she had let him join them at meals. She would have killed him if she could.
He should have known before that that something would happen. Even at that age, he had known that nothing ever went right for him. From what he heard, she had been killed just the day before he arrived at her door, and her last act had been sealing the envelope that had his name on it, the same one he kept tucked in his waistband that was more important than anything else. Violet wouldn't know what it was like at all. She was just a princess, yes...that was right, just a princess, and nothing more.
His head shot up when he heard a familiar voice call his name, and he looked to see Demyth walking this way. That was good. Now he would be distracted and he wouldn't have to think about it anymore. His heart would stop throbbing against his ribs and his head would stop feeling so heavy. "Hey," he said, pulling Banryuu out of the ground and placing it, with a thud, onto his right shoulder, tossing his bangs out of his eyes with a flick of his head. He wasn't exactly known for being formal in his way of talking, "Doin' nothing much."
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